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To point out the history of Christianity, which in actuality is more of the history of the Papacy and the Catholic Ecclesiastical system, and call it evil or wrong presupposes that there is a right. If there is a standard of which you are able to determine something as wrong or right, then you posit objective moral values which are independent and binding regardless of time, place, people etc. That moral standard would posit a rational entity which understands moral boundaries to have placed it there. But that's where you retreat and say there is no such thing. So if there is no rational entity of superior intellectual understanding providing the guiding boundaries of moral standards, then moral standards are a mere illusion. If moral standards are mere illusions than there is no concrete right. If there is no concrete right, there is no wrong. And so your argument about how wrong the history of Christianity is falls apart.
In relation to your second observation, you leave out the all-important “To me” that was at the start of that sentence. I did not intend to make a theological point about grace/free will! To put it very differently, the desire to make such renunciations does not stem from ‘medieval’ (a term I am loathe to use to give a negative connotation) masochism but as a loving response to God’s grace and mercy. This grace is helping me to discover my vocation, and I am discerning what I think is God’s invitation to make these renunciations. Does this leave you a little less perplexed? I’ll be the first to admit I should be more exacting when expressing myself.